


Songbird

by meggie1tr



Category: American Horror Story, American Horror Story: Coven
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-10
Updated: 2016-02-10
Packaged: 2018-05-19 14:35:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5970559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meggie1tr/pseuds/meggie1tr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Imagine Person A has been fighting depression for a few months, leaving Person B to look after their young baby. One night, hearing the baby cry, Person B gets up only to discover that Person A is already there, singing a lullaby to the baby.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Songbird

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy! Please leave kudos and reviews.

Misty sighed as she held the small baby who was screaming bloody murder closer to her chest and rocked her gently hoping sleep would soon come for her.

_**For you, there'll be no more crying,** _

“Hey, shh you,” she whispered as she pressed play on the CD player. A Fleetwood Mac’s song softly filled the child’s nursery in a desperate attempt to calm and quieten the child.

“I know, ya want your mama right now but… she’s a little occupied right now. Witchy business.”

Misty sighed, she hated lying to her daughter but she couldn’t bear to her the truth. Even though the four month old wouldn’t have understood, it didn’t feel right for Misty to tell their daughter how Cordelia hadn’t been sleeping, or eating, or even living since she had given birth.

_**For you, the sun will be shining,** _

Misty sighed as she thought about how excited Cordelia had been when she first found out she was expecting.

Granted the child was unexpected and the father (Hank) wasn’t ideal but that didn’t bother Cordelia.

She knew how much this meant to Cordelia and the way her eyes lit up when she told Misty she was pregnant Misty couldn’t help but be thrilled for her.

Both women couldn’t wipe their stupid grins off their faces once they bother agreed Misty would be the child’s second parent. Misty was so glad they could share this special occasion together as a couple.

Their lives were slowly falling into place.

_**And I feel that when I'm with you,** _

Misty loved Cordelia to bits but she knew how uptight Cordelia got when she was nervous or had an important matter to deal with such as having a baby. However to everyone’s surprise it was Misty doing all the worrying.

Cordelia loved being pregnant and loved the time she got to spend with her bump.

When she wasn’t running the coven and being the supreme she would sit in the nursery her and Misty had created and marvel over the life she had created.

Misty would often come in and catch her talking or singing to her bump or caressing it in such a way only a mother could.

_**To you, I'll give the world** _

In the centre of a cream coloured room, with white furniture sat a cot surrounding it there was a chest of drawers and a rocking chair as well as a changing table and a few baby toys. Although it was a very plain room there were various wall art decorations of butterflies and flowers along with a beautiful night light.

As she hung up the final decorations Misty and Cordelia both agreed it was perfect.

Since Cordelia had announced she was pregnant, Misty had insisted that she did everything around the house. That included decorating the nursey, both food and baby shopping, cleaning up after the two of them and helping a lot more often with the running of the school.

She wanted to make sure Cordelia was as relaxed as possible for both she and he baby’s safety.

She wanted everything to run as smoothly as possible. However, that wasn’t the case. That is never the case Misty thought.

_**It's alright, I know it's right.** _

Cordelia went into labour at 7 and a half months pregnant. Misty had completely freaked out until Cordelia grabbed her by the shoulders and told her to calm down. Once Misty had finally pulled herself together she managed to get them to the hospital. After 14 hours of labour pains, screaming and crying till she could no more Cordelia finally gave birth to their perfect baby daughter.

“Aw Dee she’s perfect,” Misty smiled running her finger over the child’s chubby cheek as Cordelia held her in her arms.

“She is,” the Supreme nodded. “Thank you Misty, you were amazing today.”

Misty blushed, “not as amazing as you.” She brushed a strand of Cordelia’s hair that had fallen in her face behind her ear before leaning in and kissing Cordelia’s (still damp from sweat) forehead.

_**And the songbirds are singing,** _

Cordelia thought motherhood would come to her easy, after all she wanted nothing more than to become a mother, however, the constant voices she hears in her head makes everything a little trickier.

“It’s your fault Cordelia.”

 “You’re just like your mother.”

 “You put your child in danger.”

“You’re an awful mother.”

 “You should save the child any further pain and just kill her now”

Cordelia cried out. She loved her baby. She really did but these voices wouldn’t leave her alone.

She tried to convince herself it was the voices who hated and wanted to harm her baby and not her but that was had when the voices sounded a lot like she did and that scared Cordelia.

The only way she knew the only way to silence the voices were to hurt herself. Some days she slit her wrists, other nights she went to her office and drowned her sorrows in a bottle of whatever she could find. Cordelia felt the pain was worth it, she would rather hurt herself than hurt her baby.

_**And I love you, I love you, I love you,** _  
_**Like never before.** _

“It’s not ya fault Dee,” Misty said one night while running her fingers through her lover’s hair in a hope to sooth her and help her to fall asleep. She knew it never did much good for Cordelia but it helped to calm herself.

“Hm?”

“Why you’ve been feeling the way ya have.” Cordelia tensed under Mist’s gaze. “Zoe let me use her laptop. It’s okay Dee, I found out why ya don’t sleep at night or eat in the day. And why ya hear voices.”

“How do you know I hear voices?” Cordelia muttered. She’d never told anyone about the voices she’d been hearing. She was worried they’d think she was going mad and would send her to an asylum. Or worse, they’d think she didn’t love her daughter. She felt ashamed.

“I’ve heard ya Dee,” Misty sighed softly continuing to play with her hair. “I’ve heard ya yellin’. Tellin’ someone to ‘shut up’ and ‘leave me alone’ but ya were alone. Ya were always alone. So either you’re clairvoyant or you’ve been hearin’ voices. But that’s okay Cordelia. Google say’s ya have postnatal depression and it’s completely normal after you’ve had a baby. We can get ya help. We can get through this, together.”

Cordelia shook her head, “No Misty, the things I hear-” she trailed off. “They’re not normal. I’m scared. I’m scared for our baby’s safety.”

“Delia, don’t say things like that. Ya can be a great mother if ya give yourself a chance. Please Delia. If not for me, for the innocent baby in the next room. She deserves her mother’s love. Both of her mothers.”

Cordelia nodded slowly as a tear escaped her eye. She knew Misty was right. “I’ll try,” she said but it was so quiet she wasn’t sure if Misty heard her.

_**And I wish you all the love in the world,** _  
_**But most of all, I wish it from myself.** _

Cordelia hardly ever slept at night since giving birth. Too many thoughts ran through her head. The silence was too loud and she couldn’t take it.

Most nights she would wait exactly an hour after Misty had fallen asleep before getting up and heading to her office. She had so much work to catch up on since giving birth, the piles were getting higher but her motivation was getting lower.

However, tonight Cordelia vowed would be different. She tried her hardest to fall asleep but it was no use. Sleep would just not come.

After starring at the ceiling for over an hour she decided to go down to the kitchen to grab a glass of water before trying to sleep again.

Slowly slipping out from under Misty’s grip she put on the first dressing gown she came across – it was Misty’s. She hardly ever wore it, said it was too warm which was understandable, after all she did use to live in a hut with nothing but her shawl to keep her warm.

Cordelia slipped into the fluffy gown and opened the bedroom door, she turned left and took two steps towards the stairs when she heard the unmistakeable nose of her daughter crying.

Cordelia frowned, she hadn’t heard her on the baby monitor that sat on the bed side table on Misty’s side. Cordelia assumed it had ran out of batteries or was now broken.

The Supreme sighed, she contemplated waking Misty. She had no idea what to do in this type of situation. She had only got up a couple of times during the night for her daughter but that was only in the first week of her being born - before the voices began.

_**The songbirds keep singing,** _  
_**Like they know the score,** _

“Come on Cordelia, pull yourself together. You are the Goddamn Supreme. Just go in and sooth the baby. She’s your daughter after all.”

After building up the courage to tend to her crying daughter she crept towards the nursery and pushed the door open just enough for her skinny frame (from her lack of eating) to fit through.

Cordelia hadn’t been in the nursery in nearly two months but it looked exactly as it did the day Misty had finished it. The only difference was now the crying baby in the once empty cot.

As soon as the baby saw her mother she began to cry harder. The four month old was exactly like Cordelia was when she was young – very wary of strangers. And that is exactly what Cordelia was to her daughter. A stranger.

Slowly walking over to her daughter she smiled down at the little girl. Misty was right, she looked exactly like her biological mother.

The girl slowly got used to Cordelia’s presence and began to quieten down but still remained cautious of the women stood in front of her.

Despite the fact she had stopped crying she was still whimpering a little so Cordelia picked up her daughter and quickly pulled her to her chest so the child’s head was resting against on the fluffy dressing gown against her shoulder.

Cordelia marvelled at how tiny her child was, she had grown a lot since Cordelia had last looked at her properly but was still very small due to her being premature.

“I’m sorry,” She muttered quietly, her lips pressed against the child’s head. “I didn’t realise being a parent would be this hard but I promise I’ll try and be more of a mother to you. I don’t want to end up like my own mother. I don’t want you to feel alone like I did.”

Cordelia sat down at the rocking chair which she had last sat on when she was pregnan.

All was quiet for a moment. The house was silent. Her daughter was quiet. There were no voices in her head. Until the baby began to cry again, clearly in distress this time.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what you need,” Cordelia sighed running a hand through her hair. “I don’t know what you want from me.”

In a panic Cordelia did the only thing she could think of and lowered her night gown in a hope she was hungry.

The child latched on in an instant and snuggled into her mother’s warm embrace while feeding. She was clearly now content as she got her request and more importantly both mother and daughter felt calm and at peace with each other. Like they were silently bonding, as mother and daughter should do.

Cordelia smiled in to the darkness as she began to sing a song she was all too familiar with thanks to Misty:

“For you, there'll be no more crying,  
For you, the sun will be shining,  
And I feel that when I'm with you,  
It's alright, I know it's right  
To you, I'll give the world  
to you, I'll never be cold  
'Cause I feel that when I'm with you,  
It's alright, I know it's right.  
And the songbirds are singing,  
Like they know the score,  
And I love you, I love you, I love you,  
Like never before.  
And I wish you all the love in the world,  
But most of all, I wish it from myself.  
And the songbirds keep singing,  
Like they know the score,  
And I love you, I love you, I love you,  
Like never before, like never before.”

When she had finished the song her baby had also stopped feeding, she burped the girl and softly rocked her in the rocking chair.

“That’s your mommy’s favourite band, her favourite member is Stevie. Although I expect you knew that already. I hear her singing to you all the time.”

Cordelia looked down and saw that her voice was sending her child to sleep so she continued to talk and make promises until she shut her eyes for the last time that night and feel asleep in her mother’s arms.  

Standing up carefully so not to wake her she placed her gently into the cot, “Sweet dreams little one,” before watching her sleep for a few moments. The Supreme decided to go back to bed with Misty so whispered to her daughter, “I love you.”

_**And I love you, I love you, I love you,** _  
_**Like never before, like never before.** _

Cordelia turned to leave when she saw Misty stood at the door a big goofy smile on her face.

“Ya were so good with her Dee.” Misty smiled.

“Thanks,” Cordelia muttered. “Uh- how much of that did you see?”

“All of it,” Misty smirked. “Ya have a beautiful singing voice, you’re almost as good as Stevie.”

Cordelia rolled her eyes but chuckled, something she hadn’t done in a very long time.

Misty smiled, glad to see a glimpse of the old Cordelia she had fallen in love with, “I love ya Cordelia Goode.”

“I love you too, both of you,” Cordelia smiled softly, turning back to look at their peacefully sleeping baby daughter.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back. I've had a rough 2015 but I'm back and hoping to get back into the swing of things. This fic was unbeta'd and I've not written any fiction in over a year so please forgive me if I'm a little rusty. Having said that I've given this fic a lot more time and care so I hope I have improved greatly from my past fics which, let's be honest, weren't great.
> 
> I've never been pregnant so obviously I've never had postnatal depression so I hope I haven't made too many mistakes and I have done it justice.


End file.
